You feel like you might need the sausages for something later so you reach up and pull down a rope of them. You wrap them around your body like a meat bandoleer, or maybe a Miss America pageant sash. In all your Elf years you never entered a competition like that, but if you had you would surely win because you are so beautiful and also interesting. It wouldn’t really even be fair.
You dwell for a few minutes with that thought, and practice tearfully accepting your winner’s tiara. All the women are so jealous of you but they smile and clap and cry as well. Meat Queen of Everbrook!
WHAT DO YOU DO?